Thoughts of Hari Kari: The First Week At Sciences Po

Monday- Hooray, an 8 am history course! I was interested to find out that there were no French students in my L’Europe en Guerre class that begins before the sun rises, but I can’t say I was all that surprised. The class, as such, is not that frightening, but walking out of the class and sitting in the front of the school watching the students, I got this awful fear in the pit of my stomach. Shit, I don’t belong here, what have I gotten myself into? The lecture course I normally have after was cancelled this week.

Tuesday: A 5:00pm law course in a little lecture hall about the European Constitution in English—2/3 French students 1/3 international students. The girl sitting next to me looked off my notes so she could see the spelling of the legal words (too bad she is depending on me…) yet I was still too much of a coward to talk to her. Also, two straight hours of English Common Law history is really frighteningly boring.

Wednesday: No classes bitch.

Thursday: 12:30 Con Law class. Australians surround me and thanking the Supreme Being that one of my classes will be easy. We went to a skeezy club that night and when a Brazilian guy was trying to grind up on me during “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and I was ashamed and sorry that Kurt Cobain was rolling in his grave.

Friday: I woke up in pain and the mood continued. The first class is Hacking Culture, which is going to be great and which is the only class where there is someone who I talked to in my class. Afterwards I went to my second French class, Restitants. I walked out of the two hours of that class with no idea what the professor was saying. Two hours later I have my conference (like a recitation). Though I understood the professor and I got the expose I wanted, on the Security Council. Still, I was shocked at the caliber of the many of the international students French. I am scared shitless of this class.

In sum: 

this place places a wild fear in me, not just because of the language but because I feel like such a fake within the halls of the school. I feel like they can see that I do not belong there… I know this is something that I will get over, and I know that I will be fine in the long run. But Sciences Po is something like I have never experienced before. I am trying to be optimistic, and at least I know that it will be a really good growing experience?

 

Things I’ve Noticed Part 2: Adventures in French TV Edition

* Shows like Friends and Grey’s Anatomy are super famous, and thus their actors have become a part of popular culture. The voices of Monica and Chandlor, Merdith and Derek are consequently as recognizable as their faces. So when you come across the dubbed version on French TV and the voices are suddenly completely different, you are in for a jarring and entertaining experience.

 * They do a great job at preserving the voices of the different Simpsons characters, but the voice of Marge is really especially grating in French.

* The beginning monologue with Law and Order is translated directly into French.

* There are significantly less commercial breaks in France, but when they do have one of the two through out the whole show, they last forever. So I guess it is almost the same…

* Talk shows here are staggeringly stupid. There is nothing on late night like Conan O’Brien, at least nothing that I could see.  The two late night shows I saw there was a large table and 3 different people were promoting different things and they had breaks for some America’s Funniest Home Video’s things… It was very odd and very silly.

* The ads here are way more sexual, but we all knew that.

* They have marathons or something, seriously, The Simpsons (Les Simpsoms) was on all freaking night!

* Where are all the reality shows? Are you telling me there are no late night America’s Next Top Model (or France’s Next Top Model) no Rock of Love? What am I supposed to do when the kids I am babysitting go to bed without trashy reality tv?

*Battlestar Galactica in French is hilarious. I have a hard time believing a super posh Giaus when he speaks French, maybe it is just the voice actor though because Caprica Six is a little more sensual when she speaks French. 

EN VRAI!

On one of my latter shifts at Bart's before I left Jon put on one of the new singles from the Kitsune Maison label. It was an incredibly catchy, very 80s sounding electro pop song called Quicksand by La Roux which I was quick to call my new favorite song. I played the song almost everyday that I worked before I finally bought it and told everyone who asked if they could have it that I had already purchased it. Yesterday evening, after drinking Vodka Ginger Ales at my apartment and navigating the train, I saw La Roux and three other Kitsune artists play in a tiny basement venue about 1/2 the size of the Fox called La Maroquinerie. Needless to say it was spectacular.

 Martha and I got to the show late, we were unsure if the 19h30 meant doors or start, so we assumed doors and showed up 45 minutes after the time we were told. We had apparently missed the first act, but were still able to go right up to the front. When looking around before the second act went on I noticed something bothersome, these people were just like the people at home, for all I knew I could have been at a show in Denver. Hipsters everywhere dress the same (I guess only American's and New Zealanders do ironic animals though) and go to the same places. I am not yet sure whether it is nice to know that subcultures are the same everywhere or if it is disturbing and sad. I guess I will figure that out. 

Back to the point though, the first act was three maybe 20 year old Irish guys called Two Door Cinema club. Go out and buy their singles now! They were fantastic, sounding like a Cut Copy that had suddenly lost their nostalgia. The next act was the one that I payed 22 Euro for, La Roux. She came on in all her Flock of Seagulls glory and I went completely crazy, dancing up and down in front of the stage like a mad person. For those of you who don't know La Roux do yourself a favor and go to her myspace to hear Quicksand. After she left the girl who was next to me grabbed the set list and handed it over to me saying, "I think you want this." This is where I realized that I was not in Denver, but some place much better. At home, someone would not just give you a set list if you were obviously having a great time and loved the artist, they would keep it for their greedy selves. IE the Cut Copy show where Jenny and I were the only ones near us dancing and some Vampire fucking Weekend fans got the set list. I was truly shocked by the kindness. But it doesn't stop there, we then proceeded to talk to the people around us (in an odd franglish hybrid) and make friends with them. Again, when is the last time you made small talk that resulted in a, wow we have to hang out sometime here is my number, with anyone at a show? The last group to come on was We Have Band, who can be summed up by the fact that they did a Pet Shop Boys cover. 

We went up to the bar long enough to have a bottle of water, for me to gather up the courage to tell La Roux that I am a big fan and that her set rocked hardcore (!) and for the first few songs of We Have Band's DJ set in the bar upstairs from the club. Yes, I enjoyed every minute of it, yes I am living like I wanted to here, and yes, the next stop is an Ed Banger party...

French Hipsters

I went to Collette today, which is an increda-expensive store that is so hipstery that it was a little too much for me. That curly haired devil Gaspard Auge sells his tee shirts there under the entirely too clever name Gasparator. So yeah, you can see what I mean. Anyway, I found out something very important, at home, I am a hipster. I admit it, it is true, whatever I live with it. Here I am just a straight up dork, which I think is what I always wanted to be anyway. There were people in that store that were so beyond me in terms of hipness that I was shamed at my humble skinny jeans and white high tops. Seriously, there was a group of guys that looked like they were in Kanye West's posse. Interestingly enough they were all wearing Phillies hats, and were talking in french. Turns out the Phillies are the hot new now, to borrow a phrase from Jens (at least I was ahead on that one). Also, they had no vinyl there. Seriously, I was all ready to go in an drop a shit-ton on electro vinyl, like SebastiAn for example, or finally finding that long lost Soulwax that I have been dying for, but there were only CDs. And they were things like A Cross the Universe and Part of the Weekend Never Dies, and Modeselektor-- things we have at home. They were also selling a tee shirt for 70 Euro of the cover of the Sonic Youth album Goo with out the words Sonic or Youth. I want to meet the creative genius that came up with that one. 

On a different note, irony doesn't translate. Don't get me wrong, the french are about as sarcastic and cynical as they come, but they don't do irony the way we do. No ironic animal wear, no ironic band tee shirts, no ironic dancing to YMCA. The dancing to YMCA is sincere. So, good thing I didn't buy that Bret inspired squirrel sweater... 

And that 's all I have to say about that. 

A Note on Demonstrations

Yes, protests and strikes are a well known part of French culture. We always make fun of the French for the fact that they shut down society over the smallest of grievances, but I have to admit that there is something very admirable about this. I ran into my first large protest two days ago while at a cafe near Montparnasse, a giant affair involving students and professors. It has been decades in the United States since students have banded together to oppose something, and here it apparently happens every other week. From what I could gather this was a protest against the proposed cutting of public research funding, though I am not completely sure (if there is someone reading this who could correct me I would be much obliged). There is no way that we students in the United States would band together and march if something like this happened, at it does nearly every year. The First Amendment gives us the right to peacefully assemble, it was so important that the founders put it along with the right to speak freely and practice any desired religion, yet more and more it is not being used. It makes me wonder when we lost the zeal for the political process that the French seems to have held on to. Where in our histories, especially in modern history, did we deviate so much that the US is full of apathy-- so much that until recently only old people voted-- while France embraces the political process? I am sure that the protests will become and pain-in-the-ass after a while, but as of yet I am still enraptured that the french have the spirit, not to mention the organizational ability, to protest and strike the way that they do.

Things I Noticed: Part 1

* Everyone and their brother’s mother in law has a fucking American Apparel sweatshirt. Do the have AA tee shirts? No. AA bag dresses or AA leggings? No. But they all have the zip up hoodies. And only solid colors. I have drawn several conclusions from this: A) that the French must really like immigrant Mexican workers and giving them fair pay and yummy lunches and massages. B) That there is no such thing as intense AA hipsters in France. B) That there are really trying hard to give up the stripe thing because I have not seen one striped AA hoodie on anyone yet, and how French are stripes, right!

* The French like candies that they cannot have, like SweetTarts (you all will be having to send me some SweetTarts and some Sour Patch Kids.

* French cinemas are better than American ones. Example: I can go to the giant Cineplex here and see Frozen River, Waltz with Bashir, and Che. None of these even play at the independent movie theaters at home, many of you will remember how much this ground my gears. On an interesting side note, a large number of the giant Cineplex’s are only playing Che Part 2- Guerrilla, which I think is the better film, but which makes little sense without the context of the Part 1.

* Umm, holy shit I don’t understand French.

* French men dress much better than American men. They wear very nice fitted jackets with those little lapel-y things on their shoulders and dark jeans and, here is the best part, they wear NICE SHOES! Either Chucks or black / brown shoes. No sneakers, unless they are especially cool kicks, no hiking boots. It is fantastic.

* I love bread. Love, love, love bread.